I Am Not Creating Alone

This necklace was made in honor of my baptism in February 2026, and I thought I was going to sit down and write about my testimony in the way people expect… Clean, structured, and something that made sense from beginning to end. But what I’ve come to realize is that I’m still living my testimony. Not a polished version of it, not a perfected story, but something honest, lived, and beautifully imperfect.

“What If You’re Not Creating Alone?” an article by Matt Tommey, The Thriving Christian Artist Weekly

That question found me on a day I didn’t even realize I needed it. I had already been sitting with this piece for a while. The idea was there. The vision was clear. But I just couldn’t bring myself to fully step into it. After a long month of being on call for jury duty, my mind felt cluttered, disconnected, tired. I kept trying to push through it anyway, like I always do. Like it was something I had to force out of myself.

I finally sat down and started working, but even then, I wasn’t present. I was distracted, picking it up, putting it down, second-guessing every stitch. I tore the necklace apart three times. Three full restarts because it didn’t feel right, didn’t look right, didn’t meet whatever expectation I had in my head.

The fourth time, I started again. Slower, still unsure, but trying. And then out of nowhere, a bead from the middle of the cross fell out. Not from the edge. Not from a loose end. From the middle. I couldn’t explain it. I still can’t. It stopped me completely.

And for the first time that day, I paused, took a breath, a real one, and I prayed. 

Then, of course, I reached for my phone and saw the email. That exact question, right there in front of me, right in the middle of my frustration. It didn’t feel like a coincidence. It felt like an invitation. “What if God didn’t just give you creativity… but actually wants to create with you?” said Matt Tommey. 

“We love God. We trust Him with our life. But when we step into the studio, it’s almost like we flip a switch and try to figure it all out ourselves.” That was me, completely.

“I’ve been leaning into this again lately, just slowing down before I start, taking a breath, and simply acknowledging His presence.” Same.

Peyote beadwork is intricate. It requires patience, stillness, and intention, and I had been trying to rush something that was never meant to be rushed.

So I went back to the piece. “Not striving. Not forcing. Just being with Him,” as Mr. Tommey said. And I kept going.

At some point, I realized I had placed a white bead where there was supposed to be a turquoise bead. I had done it symmetrically, so it still looked right to anyone else, but I knew. And it bothered me. It bothered me enough that I was ready to tear it all apart again. Start over. Fix it. Make it “right.”

But before I did, I paused again. Another breath. Another prayer. And in that pause, I opened my phone again. This time, it was Facebook. And I came across a post about a misplaced bead. Someone in the comments called it a spirit bead… a reminder that only the Creator is perfect.

So I left it. I kept the bead exactly where it was. I kept the slightly off center pearl. I kept the imperfections that I would have never allowed before. And I kept going.

“Clarity comes. Peace comes.”  And it did. Somewhere along the way, the frustration turned into something else. Something softer, something deeper. I started to feel God’s presence in every stitch and every bead. Even in the mistakes my hands made. It wasn’t about getting it perfect anymore. It was about being present. About creating with Him instead of trying to prove something on my own.

I would have never chosen an imperfect, off-centered pearl. I would have never left a bead out of place. But now, looking at it, I can’t imagine it any other way. Because the whole piece still came together so beautifully. So intentionally. Not in spite of the imperfections, but with them.

And I think that’s what this testimony really is. Not about being perfect.

But about being held, guided, corrected, and loved right in the middle of imperfection. About learning to pause, to breathe, and to invite Him in. Not just into my life, but into my hands, my process, my art, my work.

This necklace is my reminder, that I am not creating alone.

The Testimony: Stewarded

Peyote Stitch, Glass Beads

Available in custom colors.